Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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