sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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