You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There r osticjed everywhere
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
