what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
