not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Randomize
