Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
