Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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