they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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