so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
