I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
