Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize
