Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
