You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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