College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize