It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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