So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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