"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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