***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
