thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
