Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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