I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
