Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
