even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
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