scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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