Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
