You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
