it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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