So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
