We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
