I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
