I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
