I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
