I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Panties = found
Randomize
