dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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