so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
