called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
