I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize