Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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