Your dad touched me again.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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