hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
