Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
i need some magic done to my vagina
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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