You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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