Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
foreskin is a definite game changer
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize