Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
