Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
