that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
