VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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