I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
