I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
