He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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