holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
