Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
