Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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