she looked like the before picture.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
