4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
