Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I have already put on my inside pants.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
