i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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