Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she peed on how many people?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
