man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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