Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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