it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
