I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize