If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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