pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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